Do's Don'ts Ask God to change you. Try to change your wife Allow her to volunteer for whatever help she may
be to you. Try to make her your slave. Treat her like she is still your girl friend.
Continue to court her with romantic acts of kindness. Take her for granted now that you have
ìcaughtî her. Forgive. Love covers a multitude of sin. Remind her of what she has done wrong. Give her emotional security. Give her reasons to feel insecure, especially
around other people. Listen to her without trying to fix everything. Go about other business when she is talking, and
then try to "fix" her problem. Break the "banks" of past painful memories. Bring up, especially in an argument, all the
things that you have forgiven her for in the past. Share your inner feelings. Hide your feelings, and instead share them with
other friends. Talk to her a lot. Withhold communication. Tell her you love her all the time. Say, "I told you I love you already." Use your godly authority in love as Jesus does. Force her to submit to your authority. She will
submit if you love her as Christ loves the Church. Take the lead in financial affairs. Give her all the financial responsibility, and
then criticize her for not doing a good job. Listen to her intuition. Demand logical explanations for everything. Allow her to vent her emotional frustrations. Try to fix everything. Know that she is Godís gift to you, and
you will be held accountable at judgement time. Take her for granted. Touch and hug her a lot. Withhold affections. Show that you believe in her. Withhold your affirmations. Give her value and honor. Treat her as insignificant. Value her above all of your friends, relatives
and children. Put her in second or third place in your life. Be courteous, but distant with other women. Keep
eye contact at a minimum. Allow yourself to be flattered by another woman.
Do not form a relationship with another woman. Do not touch
or allow yourself to be touched by another woman. Appreciate everything she contributes to your
family and marriage. Take her for granted, like ìyou are
supposed to do this or that. Voice your disagreements with respect Stuff your anger. Argue fairly. Dishonor and demean her when you argue. Make sure you are the provider. Expect her to provide. Share in household and family duties. Treat her like a servant and slave. Maintain a high degree of confidentiality and
loyalty and to her especially during frustrating time Go to other friends and ìbad mouthî
him. In effect this is putting negative curses in the air
that will eventually affect your marriage. Husbands need to take the lead in unconditional
love and forgiveness, as Christ did for us and the church. Wait for her to admit her errors and ask for
forgiveness. Remember that marriage the only supernatural
relationship besides your relationship with God. It is based upon a
blood covenant. It changes your identity and your spiritual
make-up. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A
man reaps what he sows"(Galatians 6:7). 1.
She needs the stability and direction of a spiritual leader. 2.
She needs to know that she is meeting needs in your life that no
other woman can meet. How is she special? 3.
She needs to see and hear that you cherish her and that you the
delight in her as a person. Edify the traits she doesn't like in
herself. Remember the things that attracted you to her. 4.
She needs to know that you understand her frustrations and that you
will protect her in her areas of limitations or weakness. 5.
She needs to know that you enjoy in setting aside quality time for
intimate conversation with her. She needs to know that you are
interested in her time, her activities, her children, her home,
today. 6.
She needs to know that you are aware of her presence even when your
mind is on other matters. Stop what you are doing and give her your
undivided attention. 7.
She needs to know that you are making investments in her life that
will expand and fulfill her world. Ask God to change you. Try to change your husband Admire him and affirm him, especially in his
work. Donít criticize him
or put him down as being insignificant. He will only make
progress if you believe in him. Treat him like he is still your boy friend.
Continue to court him with romantic acts of kindness. Take him for granted now that you have
ìcaughtî him. Submit to his godly authority. Try to manipulate him to achieve your desires. Forgive. Love covers a multitude of sin. Remind him of what he has done wrong. Freely give him physical love. Use your physical love as a means to manipulate
or punish him. Exercise unconditional love when he does not
behave perfectly. God may be using this to discipline you. Demand perfect performance. God does not demand
that from you. Break the ìbanksî of past painful
memories. Bring up, especially in an argument, all the
things that you have forgiven him for in the past. Give him a lot of affection, kissing and
touching. Be cold and withhold affections. Value him above all of your friends, relatives
and children. Put
him in second or third place in your life. Appreciate everything he contributes to your
family and marriage. Take him for granted, like "you are supposed to
do this or that." Be courteous, but distant with other men. Keep
eye contact at a minimum. Allow yourself to be flattered by another man.
Do not form a relationship with another man. Do not touch or
allow yourself to be touched by another man. Voice your disagreements with respect Stuff your anger. Argue fairly. Dishonor and demean him when you argue. Maintain a high degree of confidentiality and
loyalty and to him especially during frustrating times. Go to other friends and ìbad mouthî
her. In effect this is putting negative curses in the air
that will eventually affect your marriage. Share your inner feelings. Hide your feelings, and instead share them with
other friends. Talk to him a lot. Withhold communication. Tell him you love him all the time. Say, "I told you I love you already." Show that you believe in him. Withhold your affirmations. Remember that marriage the only supernatural
relationship besides your relationship with God. It is based upon a
blood covenant. It changes your identity and your spiritual
make-up. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A
man reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7).